First things first: Genuine thanks for the kind words & love expressed thus far, it means a lot. I spent most of my adult life producing & creating a musical entity that was the soundscape embodiment of me and my many selves. It was my everything, everywhere, all at once and I truly loved every minute of every day throughout the decades I spent expressing the sounds that vigorously came rushing out of it. And then, almost to my surprise (almost), my body & my voice decided it could not continue, not even a little....so my ability to vocalize competently while being physically & mentally present as I did so came to a screeching halt.
I can't tell you what that did to me. How it gutted my insides, my brain, my heart & my life.
And yet...in the deep recesses of my creative soul, I still heard music. I still had ideas and concepts and soundscapes, all in vivid colors brewing as they bubbled somewhere deep inside. And, as is almost always the case in my Life History, just as things looked their worst and my heart was barely breathing, technology appeared and rescued me at the last minute. It had happened before. And while I thought myself too old, too far gone for it to be a possibility again, it happened again.
And I am so very grateful. You have no idea.
As was the case in my earlier rescues, I had to relearn everything I needed to know to move forward, even though it was completely alien to me. Like speaking German or Cantonese when truly, I can barely speak American English. But like before, I dove into the deep end, mouth full of water as I swam and dog paddled my little heart out while shouting all the garbled, wet mouthfuls of German, Cantonese, Hell even Pig Latin words and phrases I could get my mind around. And eventually, I was swimming the 100 yard Butterfly & Breast Stroke like Michael Phelps, or at least it felt that way.
And that lead me to here. And while I am completely and totally writing, composing and arranging (even singing, if you can believe it) everything I create, it is most assuredly, and most gratefully guided, shaped & molded with the help of AI. Just as I did with Pro Tools, Garageband, Logic, Audacity and the countless other emerging technologies that helped this man physically, audibly, actually create songs and sounds only heard in his head prior, birthing what came to be known as 21st Century Express so long ago in 2004, repeating the process in hopes of lightning maybe, just maybe striking a second time.
Regardless of what anyone, anywhere thinks of the process, or the technology, it is as it was before: up to me if I succeeded or if I did not. Considering the immense amount of work, blood, sweat, tears and money spent, while ending up with such lush, silk purses out of sows ears as the result, I am relieved to proudly say yes, I believe I did. And while The Universe may have other plans in regards to my health and ultimately my mortality, I am once again filled with joy, passion and the colorful burst of creation in everything I am doing now.
Once again, the caterpillar. Then suddenly within a chrysalis. Now fluttering, flying high and fast as the butterfly. I feel alive again.
