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Hollowed Out
by   Wyndsok   and   Toveco
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On October 22nd 2006, my mother passed away at age 71. Although I loved her very much, ours was always a rocky relationship.

As part of my grieving process I wrote two songs, a couple years apart: Lightspawn, which I’ll probably post here someday, and THIS one.

When I first posted this at MacJams all those years ago, a number of people came forward and said that their relationship with their late father or mother was much the same, and that this song helped them to process their feelings.

I hope folks here can appreciate this as a song about an all too common phenomenon.

If there’s a take away from all this, I suppose it’s that we all need to be at peace with our parents (warts and all), and just love them as best we can. After all, it’s what we need and hope for from them (to say nothing of our OWN children), is it not?

This is not a perfect world. As much as lies within each one of us, let’s refuse to exacerbate the imperfection…

Btw, the original file stems were lost in the Great Mac Crash of 2011. The finished track was remastered in 2024 by Tom Hellsten of TSTstudios.

Be well all!
Released: 29-Jul-2024
Category: Rock
Application: Logic Pro
File type: mp3
File size: 13.9 Mb
Plays: 16
Downloads: 1
Weekly plays: 1
Weekly downloads: 1
License: No derivative works allowed
Lyrics
HOLLOWED OUT

Hardly a day goes by, my thoughts turn to you again.
I think of your hard life, and what it might have meant.

We never were too close, though I wanted it so very much.
Your walls were too high, my armor too rusted.

Daddy died when I was four. 
You know that really shook my faith in Reality.
I ran to your arms for comfort, but alas,
your hugs were never meant to be…

Still I did always love you; and I love you to this day.
You left a hole in my heart, when you went away…

Yeah

Time was when I was younger, you were like a god to me.
That illusion was shattered only gradually.

I doubt we ever did see, eye to eye, you and me.
You offered me stones, what I needed was light…

You’d draw me in, push me away, but I still loved you;
so I kept tryin’, and tryin’.

The thought of your body in the cold ground,
and your soul I don’t know where,
has left me hollowed out inside!

I have your photograph.
Your eyes they still haunt me.
Will I ever gaze into them again?

Mama!
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Comments
listener
Wow Mike ! I'm sorry to here of these struggles you had with Jan. I never  knew or remembered of your father. I didn't need a picture of your mom listening to this song as I worked with her and always secretly lusted over her (such a dark eyed beauty to a 16 year old) ha I can see her clearly. Hope releasing this helps fill the hollow in your heart. 
 
4 months ago
artist
@Chips 
Yep Don, mom was a real beauty! She came from a very rough background though, and it took its toll.
Although I still miss her, I've long since come to grips with the difficult relationship we had. 
I'm really posting this in the hopes it might help someone else who had or has similar difficulties in relationship to a parent or sibling...
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
Very good song ... came directly from your feelings. And your lyrics were impactful. Well done!
4 months ago
listener
I failed to mention...nice song and i'm impressed with your strong vocals on an emotional song. That's no easy task !
 
4 months ago
artist
@StanTheManLoh 
Thanks Stan. Songs that spring from real life experiences and feelings seem to work best, don't they?
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
Beautiful song Mike.  Sad that we humans just can't get along all the time.  The lyrics, music and vocal delivery is perfect.  I really like the low singing on some lines.  You should use it more.  Also the guitar solos are beautiful.
4 months ago
artist
@TrebleFace 
RE the low singing: My voice has changed over the years. It's easier to sing in a lower register now. It was much harder back then when this was recorded. Glad you liked it!
Many thanks Matt for listening and commenting.
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
Regardless of the relationship between our family members, once they are gone, there's a very odd loneliness that takes place. Nice song as always. I'm glad you were able to write about it.
Latest song: I Fall to Pieces
4 months ago
artist
That illusion was shattered only gradually.....great image....
Latest song: I Fall to Pieces
4 months ago
artist
@Grathy 
Months back, when you posted a similarly themed song, I wrote to you and said I would eventually post a couple along the same lines. 
Man time does fly! 
So here is what I believe is the better of the two (musically).
Thanks so much for listening and commenting Mary.
Be well my friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
This personal Dedication song is great! .. many condolences headed your way! I had this happen to a soulmate recently and I could feel her essence transformed scooting around above her site, freed, at her Jewish cemetery  ... the rain clouds cleared for only the single 45 minutes ceremony and there was a clearing in the sky for Jennifer! I felt such a guilt because she said she did not want to be in a casket but that was their tradition..
Latest song: Golden Dusk
4 months ago
artist
A "Don't You Forget About Me" voice which is so appropriate for Don't You Forget About Me .
Latest song: Golden Dusk
4 months ago
artist
@scotthorwath 
Hey Scott, many thanks for that first etheric comment! Much enjoyed reading it!
I'm afraid I didn't understand your second comment...
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
Very effective and honest farewell message.  The song is done super well with everything, including the vocals, really shining.   I agree with StanTheMan, that the lyrics are really impactful, and feelings truly showing to great effect.   
4 months ago
artist
No matter the music style, the mood and the goal, the songs that are the strongest are always the more personal ones. This is a perfect exemple. Feelings, above anything else. Touching and genuine. Thanks for sharing this with us, Mike.
4 months ago
artist
Moving. Great singing and awesome guitar.
Latest song: Why?
4 months ago
artist
@Venturesome 
Many thanks Mark. When my mom passed I felt thoroughly orphaned. I am so thankful I could take some comfort in making music. Very therapeutic!
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
@Dyl 
They always say "Write what you know," or "Write from experience." 
It's a tried-and-true formula IMHO.
Thanks for listening and commenting friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
@Smileygeezer 
Thanks for the thumbs up Shaun! I rarely play slides. I'm just not that good at it, but it seems to have worked well here.
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
Singing from the heart and wearing it on your sleeve would be an understatement.  You know how I feel about long songs but this is one of those exceptions. The lyrics are so moving.. can't even call them lyrics..it's more of a diary of the soul's experiences. This is far better, imo than John Lennon's 'Mother'.. Cathartic..
4 months ago
artist
@Sociallite1957 
I remember JL's "Mother." You give me too much credit Joyce.
As for the length, I find it nearly impossible to do a short SLOW song...
Thanks for listening my friend. Your comments are always welcome and appreciated!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
Parts of this speaks to many of us Mike. 
 Soulful and wonderful.
Latest song: Captain Mizuki
4 months ago
artist
@Bowman 
Thanks for listening and for the nice comment Charlie.
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
@jgurner 
Thanks for faving this one Joseph!
Be well friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
I can relate to this song : lost my father 15 years ago and my mother 3 years ago. Never had a nice relation with them, we were too far apart physically and socially. Beautiful song you wrote here Mike.
4 months ago
artist
@thsantac 
I suspect a great many of us came from dysfunctional families. I know I did. We each process that reality in any number of ways. This song represent one of the ways I have dealt with this phenomenon. 
I still love my mother, and I believe that she loved me, but none of that changes how difficult the relationship was. I think you understand...
Thanks so much for listening and commenting my friend!
:-)
Latest song: This Desert Place
4 months ago
artist
this is dripping with genuineness. that slide guitar (around 2:50) is haunting! all around, most excellent
2 months ago
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