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When I first answered the phone her call game from outta the blue She introduced herself told me her name and I said Loretta Who? She said mutual friends Sam and Rob told her my girl dumped me They told her I was down and needed a friend for some good company She invited me over I said ok but what are your expectations She said nothing serious just a drink and some good conversation Her voice was funny but I still decided to go meet her face to face So I got in my car and using gps I drove over to her place When she opened the door I was SHOCKED at what I saw I must admit Loretta looked like a linebacker with high heels and pink lipstick She said don’t be afraid you can come in for just one beer I may be large but I’m a gentle man, i mean woman you got nothing to fear. I didn’t want to be rude so we sucked back a few beers I think it was bud lite And before I knew it I looked at the clock and it was half past midnight Then he put his hand on my leg I said what the hell and then I realized He was looking me over up and down undressing me with his eyes So I told him I must be going as I bent down to pick up my shoes But then all of a sudden he pinched my bum and I politely refused Then he hugged me tight I felt a ball as he wrestled me to the floor He pinned me down I could not move he was 210 and 6 feet four I said no thank you I’m not gay I’m not in that mood He said I think your cute you might like it I really want to do you good So he rolled me over pulled my pants down well below my knees I asked him to stop he said nice pants put these thongs on you little tease Then he pulled off his wig took off his shoes he said can’t blame me for trying He pulled down his dress he was rocking hard he had the biggest rooster I ever seen He picked me up carried me over to the massage table Then he layed me down I tried to get away but I was just unable And at the last second I pulled free and jumped on to the floor Then there was a knock and it was Sam and Rob walking through the door Sam said happy to see you I’m glad you’re both getting along Now we have four we’re all gonna score oh by the way nice pink thong At the moment Loretta got up went to the fridge to get the boys a beer That was my opportunity my big chance to get the hell out of there So I picked up my clothes they were scattered all over the floor I didn’t bother putting them on I just wanted to run right out that door I was speeding home cops saw me they said pull over to the right I tried to explain he said you must be drunk you’re going to jail tonight Three hours later behind bars I was pacing all about Then the guard came he said you’re in luck a guy called Loretta is here to bail you out. I spent the rest of the night speeding away I was trying to get away from her There ain’t no way a guy called Loretta is gonna have me and thats for sure.
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